Emotionless
by silver-doe287
Summary: Uther knows, and Merlin pays. So leaves the beaming servant of Camelot for an emotionless slave.
1. Chapter 1

**If you're reading this, that means that I went ahead and published this story. This is unlike anything I've ever written, because I'm not usually this…sadistic. O_O**

**Title: Emotionless**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Sexual abuse, violence, rape, m/m in a violent setting, suicidal thoughts**

**Summary: Uther knows, and Merlin pays. So leaves the beaming servant of Camelot for an emotionless slave.**

It was a quiet, sunny day in Camelot. People were going about their business as usual, chatting amongst one another and passing along the daily rumors. Above, in the great Camelot castle, the young prince was staring out his window in a worried way.

Arthur hadn't left his chambers for more than dinner in a long while. He barely cared about the mess strewn around his room behind him, because all he cared about right now was his missing manservant.

He remembered it so clearly...

_There was a mighty yell as a bunch of men came charging out of the woods and into the clearing where Arthur and Merlin sat, enjoying a break between hunting trips. Both men leapt up, shocked, as they were surrounded. Arthur whipped out his sword, stepping in front of his weaponless manservant, and began to parry blows._

_Soon he was in the thick of it, cutting down as many men as he could. When it was finished, he realized two things very quickly and sharply:_

_There were some men who had ran away, and they had taken defenseless Merlin with them._

Arthur squeezed his eyes shut as the horror washed over him again in a wave that he couldn't control. There had been no word from Merlin at all, not even a sight of his whereabouts. Of course his father, the king, had told Arthur to get a new servant, any one would do, but the prince just couldn't let his friend go.

He continued staring out the window, watching the daily life of the people below him, and waiting for a familiar shock of black hair to come running through the crowd. No such person came.

Uther was in his chambers, hands clasped behind his back as he stared out the window much like his son, watching the outdoors and patiently waiting. There was a knock, not from the door to his chambers, but a wall panel which hid a secret tunnel. Satisfied, Uther commanded the person inside.

His eyes followed the two people that walked in, one walking with a slight limp as he held himself dignified. He wore nondescript robes that fit him nicely, and in his hand he held a thick, metal chain. Around the metal chain were symbols, ruins that, if somebody else were to see, Uther would have betrayed his country. The king followed the chain straight up to a collar around the neck of a man he knew quite well, one that he had been keeping an eye on for quite some time. The man wore only black pants and a pair of scruffy-looking boots; his chest was bare and just as pale as the rest of him. He looked sick, ill, and he made no move to raise his head.

"So, sorcerer," Uther said in a low voice, and the man looked up with fearful blue eyes. Uther felt the hatred rise within him.

"You have conspired against the kingdom for too long, and I could not stand to watch you tease me in my own palace," he said with a cold voice. "You betrayed my trust, befriended my son, and all the while you had _magic._"

Uther breathed in deeply as he started forward, stopping when he was standing over the manservant.

"What do you have to say for yourself, Merlin?" he asked in a threatening voice.

Merlin bowed his head again, not speaking a word. Uther leaned back, satisfied.

"You should consider yourself lucky," he said in a casual voice as he turned back around and faced the window, watching the people like ants move below in their daily routine. "I am not killing you. Yet."

There was an audible sigh as Merlin took in this knowledge, and a small smile passed the king's lips as he revealed his information for the first time.

"I have been doing some research the last year, and have discovered many things about magic that I didn't know. For instance, there are different types of magic, some that almost anybody can harness, and others—" he turned around to face Merlin, a malicious glint in his eyes. "That are elemental, that belong with the person."

He knew he had the sorcerer there. Merlin's eyes grew wide and he instinctively took a step back. Tann, the man behind him, gave him a shove forward and the boy stumbled and fell to the floor.

"You possess such magic, don't you," Uther stated calmly, watching as Merlin sat up in haste. "But I have discovered some other things about this type of magic that even you don't know, sorcerer." He strode over to Merlin, who remained on the floor, frozen, as his blue eyes bore into the king's. Uther knelt down to look him in the eye.

"I know how to take that elemental magic from you and use it at my own will, and that is what I plan to do," he whispered. Merlin's eyes were wide as saucers now, and he tried to scamper backwards, but Tann was in the way, still holding the chain to the collar around his neck. Uther nodded to his ally, who pulled out a dagger and handed it to the king with a flourishing bow. Uther looked at the dagger, nodded at it with satisfaction, and proceeded to crouch down in front of the manservant again.

"Before I can harness any of your power, however," he said, "I have to do a sort of bonding ceremony. When it is complete, your free will will be gone and I will have control over your magic...and your physical being."

At that last statement Uther nodded to Tann, who came from behind and grabbed Merlin's arms, holding him in place. Uther then moved over him, pinning down his legs with his knees. The king put one hand over Merlin's mouth as he struggled faintly, and with the other he brandished the dagger.

"I'll only need a bit," he said to the boy before he took the knife and slowly cut a long gash across his middle. Merlin screamed into Uther's hand, but he couldn't fight anymore as he was so weak. Tann then handed over the end of the long chain and Uther took the last chain cuff in his hand, slowly rubbing it across the blood before he examined it again. With the dagger in his hand again he cut a small prick on his own finger, and smeared his own blood over that of the manservant's, and this suddenly seemed to have an effect on Merlin. He stopped screaming, his eyes rolled up in his head, and he passed out.

Uther didn't even notice. He was staring at the last rung of the chain in awe, and then he carefully pulled it from the rest of the chain; it had been designated to do that all along. With a final tug he fit the chain-made-bracelet onto his arm, and then turned to smile at Tann.

"It is almost done," he announced. "I shall take care of the rest. You may go for now, until I call you next."

Tann nodded, bowing lowly before heading back the way he came, through that door in the wall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome back! I hoped you enjoyed/didn't enjoy the introductory chapter, but if you hadn't guessed yet, this story will have a LOT of Merlin!whump, just so you're prewarned.**

**Title: Emotionless**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Sexual abuse, violence, rape, m/m in a violent setting, suicidal thoughts**

**Summary: Uther knows, and Merlin pays. So leaves the beaming servant of Camelot for an emotionless slave.**

When Merlin woke, he felt strange, cold, and alone. He blinked open his eyes for a brief moment, taking in the moonlit surroundings, and then he realized where he was.

The king's chambers.

Everything came flooding back to him in one great wave, and he grabbed his naked stomach, feeling the red clotted blood there beneath his skin. He gasped and started hyperventilating, searching for a way out...

A light flickered next to the door and his breathing hitched, surprise and fear clouding every movement he may have made otherwise.

It was the man who had been his guard the last week. His purple robes billowed out around him and his expression was one of cruel calculation.

"The king has given you food and wine," he said in a voice that was high and rickety. He gestured to the table where fruit, meat, and cheese sat waiting, and Merlin suddenly jumped to his feet, ravished. He hadn't been fed in awhile, and the wine was going to be a spectacular treat, as well. Almost a moment later he had sat down and started stuffing his face full of the delicious food. Then he downed the glass of wine and started in again, barely pausing to savor any flavor.

"That's enough, we wouldn't want you getting sick now," came another voice by the hidden door. Merlin stopped mid-bite, his eyes widening as he remembered what had happened. He dropped the food, and just as that happened his vision began to dull, and his mind slipped slowly into a dreamlike state.

"He's ready, my lord," said the the man in purple robes. "He drank the entire glass of wine."

"Good," Uther said in a satisfactory voice, coming out of the shadows. Merlin stared at him, dimly aware that there was some sort of trouble, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what. The king looked at him intently, watching his every move.

"That was just a precaution, boy," he said in a low voice that was filled with many different emotions that Merlin couldn't understand at the moment. "Because you aren't fully complete with the bond, yet, and might be able to overpower me."

Merlin said nothing. Uther continued forward, looking mildly curious now.

"Stand up," he suddenly ordered, and Merlin felt the ring of command in his voice. Still in his dreamy stupor, he stood. The king smiled.

"Walk over to the bed," he instructed next. Merlin did as he asked, not bothering to put up a fight.

"Take off your clothes."

This time Merlin paused; this didn't seem right.

"Do I have to?" he asked slowly, deciding in his dreamy mind that he didn't really want to. Uther took a step closer.

"Do as I say," he whispered with so much force that Merlin's mind started to hurt, and he cluelessly put a hand to his head, listening to the ring of command in the voice. Then he began to strip.

In his current state of mind, Merlin realized that he had never been fully naked in front of anybody before, but because of whatever was keeping him in his dreamy stupor, he didn't think too much of this as he stepped out of his pants and stood there, staring at the king. He watched as Uther looked him up and down, a smile suddenly plastered on his face as he walked slowly up to him. Merlin stood stock still as the king reached up, took a glove off, and pressed it against his bare, pale chest. Then his hand moved slowly downwards, raising goose bumps on Merlin's skin as it did so. It stopped just before his target, and then Uther removed his hand.

"Well, I can see why Arthur kept you around," he said pleasantly, offering another smile that Merlin didn't know how to take. He couldn't think straight. The king turned his head slightly and nodded for the other man in the room to leave them. He did, shutting the hidden door behind him. Uther turned back to Merlin.

"What—what are you going to do to me?" Merlin asked, having to try hard to form the words around his question. His head was buzzing now.

"Finish the bond so I can control you," Uther replied. "Now, climb onto the bed."

Merlin wordlessly did as he said, turning around and getting onto the bed.

"There are a pair of shackles connected to the two pieces of the headboard, put your wrists inside them."

After debating for a moment, Merlin was able to close one shackle around his left wrist, but he was having problems with his right one without another hand. Then, the cuff snapped shut, and he looked up just as there was a pressure on the bed and then over his exposed body. Merlin flinched at the rough contact.

"A virgin, are you?" Uther murmured in a pleasant voice. "Well, this should be all the more fun then."

"Are you going to hurt me?" Merlin asked slowly, trying to comprehend what was going on. Uther smiled again, this time looking ruthless as he bored into the manservant's eyes.

"Yes," he said with a grin, and then there was pain.


	3. Chapter 3

**You guys are too awesome, I had to post chapter three today too! :D Okay, last chapter we saw a bit of Merlin!whump, and now in this chapter we will begin to see the repercussions of last chapter. Also introducing, Morgana and Mordred! Morgana might go a little OOC (is that the right term? N00b) in this story, but trust me, the reasoning is there and is good enough to get through the story.**

**Title: Emotionless**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Sexual abuse, violence, rape, m/m in a violent setting, suicidal thoughts**

**Summary: Uther knows, and Merlin pays. So leaves the beaming servant of Camelot for an emotionless slave.**

When he woke the next time, Merlin instantly felt everything that had happened the night before, and he groaned in pain. His body felt bruised, broken from the inside out, and he felt defiled and dirty.

He was back in his small cell with no bed and no windows again, and he was sprawled across the floor. His brain felt like it was split in two from the excess amount of drugs that the king had fed him, and his body felt as if it were on fire. Merlin groaned again, remembering the night before with a dim, hazy cloud in front of it. He realized what had happened and he instantly contemplated taking his own life. Uther couldn't control him!

The door to his cell burst open and in strode the king, looking high and mighty as ever. He also looked pleased.

"Good morning, pet," he said in a pleasant tone. "Everything has been arranged, and now you are officially under my control."

Merlin stared up with fearful eyes, before realizing his nakedness in front of the king. He backed into a corner of the cell, curling into a ball to try and not expose himself. This hurt beyond belief, but he felt so exposed it was about to drive him mad. Uther just laughed.

"It isn't anything I didn't see last night," he said with a perverted smile. Merlin just hugged his knees, wishing he were with Arthur, or his mother, or even better, dead.

As if the king could read his mind, Uther suddenly came forward and slapped him hard across the face, sending Merlin sprawling. He quickly worked to form the same position as before, wordlessly looking upwards.

"Your first rule, no thinking about death," Uther commanded. Merlin suddenly couldn't remember what he had just been thinking about. As his face went blank, the king looked pleased again.

"You also can't cry for help from anybody who could happen to stumble upon you, and you can't try to break free," the king continued. The words etched into an imaginary stone in Merlin's mind, and he knew he couldn't forget anything, no matter how hard he tried.

"Lastly," Uther said with an evil leer as he leaned over Merlin again, "remember that I am your master. You are just a worthless sorcerer who shouldn't even have the powers you were born with. As long as you live, I shall be able to use your magic to my advantage against the rest of the world. Only I can harness the magic because my blood is mingled with yours on this chain, which is the end chain to the collar that is fastened around your pretty little neck."

Merlin put a shaking hand to the heavy collar around his neck, feeling sick to his stomach. He really was trapped. Uther smiled again as he realized this. He suddenly rushed forward and knelt right in front of Merlin. Shocked and frightened, Merlin pressed himself against the wall and squeezed his eyes shut.

He felt the bare hands of the king all over him and he shuddered, trying to pretend he was anywhere else as he was pulled out of his position and his legs were forced apart. A hand grabbed him and Merlin stopped squirming, his breath catching in his throat. Was the king going to rape him again?

It appeared not. After receiving a stroke which sent a shudder through him again but for other reasons, he heard his master stand up.

"I'll be back tonight," he whispered to Merlin. This was all he said, and then he marched out, the door slamming shut and locking behind him.

As soon as he was alone Merlin curled back into a ball and cried, cried more than he ever had for his parents, friends, or anything else. His shoulders shook and he sobbed into his hands for maybe an hour, but he didn't care anymore. He just didn't want anymore, that's all he knew.

After his crying had slowly ceased, he began to think. Merlin knew this was dangerous territory but he couldn't help but look around and see if there was a way out of the cell. After determining that there wasn't, tears began to leak from his eyes again.

But then slowly, an idea began to form in his head. He remembered what his master had said, every word, and he now thought of the part about the two types of magic. He had had his elemental magic taken away, but...that didn't meant that he couldn't use spells, right?

Quickly racking his brain for a spell to help, Merlin remembered one about scrying, or finding other people. Unfortunately this only worked from one sorcerer to another, so he thought for a few more seconds before deciding on what to do. Then, concentrating with all his might, Merlin pushed the image he was sending to the forefront of his mind as he started chanting rapidly, afraid he was going to get caught—

And then it was over. The image faded from the forefront of his mind, and Merlin was left to wait and see whether he would be rescued.

*~*~*~*~*~*~Morgana~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When she received the message, Morgana was caught unawares.

She had just reacquainted herself with the druid boy Mordred, whom she had found in the woods, when she suddenly doubled over and found another image instead of the boy in front of her in her eyes.

It was a dim, dreary cell. A cell she, of all people, recognized. Sitting in a corner curled into a ball was a naked man who was trying to cover up that fact. As she watched another man came in, this one turning her blood cold. _Uther._ The man was talking to the boy on the ground, and then he backhanded him and wrestled his legs open, grabbing him for a moment before leering and going away. Morgana couldn't see the man's face, but he began to cry, and then the vision cut out.

She found herself staring at Mordred, who wore the same expression as her.

"What was that?" she asked in a shocked tone, and Mordred looked at her with an unreadable expression.

"A cry for help," he responded quietly. "From Emrys."

Morgana looked down at her friend, surprised.

"You know that man?" she asked. Mordred's expression turned confused.

"Of course, you do too," he pointed out. Morgana shook her head. Suddenly another vision hit her, this one from the boy in front of her. It started with him staring at the figure trying to help, and then watching as the figure and herself paced in front of him. After that there was the time in the woods when they were running. She watched as he volunteered to sacrifice himself, and after they left a creepy fog filled the air. Finally, she watched as the guards flew away from the boy, and the eyes flashed to the blue ones that stared back, with the echo of _"I'll never forget this, Emrys."_

And then she was tossed back into her own body.

"Emrys...is Merlin?" she gasped, staring at Mordred in shock. "Merlin is a sorcerer?"

Mordred nodded.

"The vision showed that he isn't the only person in Camelot who knows," the boy said in a wise tone. "The king has kidnapped him."

Morgana remembered the vision and shuddered with rage. As much as she hated Merlin for betraying her and trying to kill her on countless occasions, she now realized that he was a sorcerer all along, and now was being violated by her father...she tasted bile in her mouth and spit.

"We have to help him," she said in a determined voice, and Mordred nodded.

"Despite his betrayal, he is a fellow sorcerer, and should be treated as such," he spoke. Morgana nodded, and they began packing for the long and dangerous journey back to Camelot.


	4. Chapter 4

**I've gotten a few reviews, and a lot of alerts - this makes me so happy, thanks for sticking with it, guys! This chapter is by far the most intense in the entire story, so there's a prewarning.**

**Title: Emotionless**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Sexual abuse, violence, rape, m/m in a violent setting, suicidal thoughts**

**Summary: Uther knows, and Merlin pays. So leaves the beaming servant of Camelot for an emotionless slave.**

**(ATTENTION: This chapter has rape scenes)**

It had been a long while since anybody had come to visit Merlin. He first had sat, curled up in a ball and staring at the door, but after awhile he found this uncomfortable and so he had decided to lay on his side, knees still pressed into his chest, and watch the door from there. It was while he was in this position that he first felt the strain.

It started out as a warm feeling coming from inside his chest, like a small fire had brewed there. Given the chilly state of the room he was in, Merlin almost welcomed the odd light. But then the heat grew, and a strange, pinched feeling came over his lungs, and made him short of breath.

And then it was gone. Blinking, Merlin sat up slowly and looked down at his chest in surprise. Then a spell of weakness flew over him and he gasped, falling back onto his side as he struggled to breathe.

The door opened but he couldn't look up, the very idea of moving right now made him almost sick. He continued to gasp for breath, not even hearing the steps as the person approached him.

"Whore," Uther spat behind him, and inside his mind Merlin realized that his master was referring to him. Painfully he turned around, eyes wide and fearful, mind weary. He continued to grasp at his chest, even as the feeling began to disappear. Uther looked pleased, examining the naked boy before him with a sickening lust.

"You won't fight me," he commanded to Merlin, and Merlin felt the order wash over him and settle in a slight panic in his stomach. Uther continued, "You will do whatever I say, and you will answer to 'whore.'"

He stepped closer and Merlin didn't move, just sat up and stared.

"Do I make myself clear, _whore_?" he asked. Merlin nodded helplessly.

"Yes, sire," he managed to speak, quickly brushing away the onslaught of tears that threatened to pour over his eyelids. His master smiled again, removing those gloves that Merlin had grown to hate. He watched as the king held his arm out to the door, and with a flash the door shut. At the same time, Merlin felt himself drain slightly, and he gasped again as the pain returned. He backed himself up to the wall, trying to steady his breathing as Uther turned back around to examine the reaction.

"Interesting," he merely mused, offering another sadistic smile. "Now, whore, stand up and face the wall."

Whole body trembling, Merlin found his limbs obeying his master's commands, and next thing he knew, he was hugging the wall and waiting. Fear mounted in his mind, but he couldn't move. He had to be submissive.

His master brushed a hand against his ass, and Merlin trembled. Not again, he swallowed and his breathing hitched.

"Now, now, whore, you can't fight it," Uther reminded silkily behind him, and Merlin squeezed his eyes shut as he heard clothes being removed. In his mind, he tried to remember what it had been like, the rape the first time. His mind had been hazy with drugs, and he couldn't grasp anything then. This made things worse, and he felt the tears spill over his eyes as his master approached him again, now also naked.

Merlin trembled, trying to fight against the force holding him against the wall, but then the king roughly pushed himself against Merlin, pinning him to the wall. Two fingers were shoved upwards, and Merlin whimpered against the pain. His master just chuckled and pulled out, figuring that was enough preparation. Then the splitting pain came again and Merlin screamed, being unable to do anything but endure the pain. His master thrust harder, and faster, and he suddenly felt faint.

"You're going to feel all of it, whore," he felt more than heard the breath against his skin, and then the king bit his shoulder. Blood began to flow from the bite, and then his master thrust in again, making Merlin's vision go white with pain.

It seemed like years later when Uther stopped and pulled out, pushing Merlin to the ground. The boy flinched violently as his position changed and he felt every part of his body feel broken, sore. His master put his clothes back on, finishing with those hateful gloves of his. Merlin looked up at him, barely conscious from the pain, and Uther smiled at him.

"Good whore," he said, kneeling and patting his head. "You're learning fast. I'll be back."

Then he left again, and Merlin was stuck in the hell that he had been shoved into.

* * *

><p>Slowly Merlin lost everything that he had taken for granted and had grown to hold dear to him as he remained Uther's prisoner and sex slave. His master got angry once when he cried, and that had been forbidden from him. And then he had been forbidden to speak, and he discovered after that that he had become mute. Losing his voice and his tears, his only way to release the pain and suffering that he was in, made his life unbearable. He couldn't see any exit, any way out of this hell that he was living. He forgot his real name and only answered to the vile word 'whore' which was the only title that remained important in his life. It deemed fit, considering his magic and his body were the only important things left.<p>

His master had taken to using his magic many times throughout the day, each time leaving him more weak and helpless. He had given up hope of ever finding a light in his life anymore, and knew that this was all he was good at – his master pointed that out each time he came back. Everything blended together now, and it was all he could think about – how worthless he was.

And then his master took away the last thing he had to call himself a human being.

The whore's eyes were wide as they always were, but the surprise in them had dulled, as if the life was slowly leaving him. He hardly felt anymore, and no matter what his master did, he didn't feel anything as shockingly as he did in the beginning. This displeased his master greatly, until his master burst out one day.

"Stop thinking, whore. You're ruining everything," he snapped. Not seeing this coming, suddenly the whore's mind went blank and all that remained was what was happening. He couldn't think. Everything was gone.

And thus the boy Merlin became the mindless sex slave to the cruelest king that Camelot had ever known.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, *breathes* now we'll get to the less raping part. Many of you have asked for this so: Rescue party for Merlin, anybody?**

**Title: Emotionless**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Sexual abuse, violence, rape, m/m in a violent setting, suicidal thoughts**

**Summary: Uther knows, and Merlin pays. So leaves the beaming servant of Camelot for an emotionless slave.**

It had only been two weeks, but by the time Morgana and Mordred had arrived in the woods next to Camelot, Morgana had a subtle feeling that something was definitely wrong.

"Do you feel that?" she asked Mordred, eyeing the castle with surprise. There was a hint of magic in the air, powerful magic subdued by something she couldn't describe.

Mordred nodded.

"Emrys's magic," he responded in a flat voice. Morgana realized what was going on. Quickly anger flashed in her eyes, and in the back of her mind she was surprised at her reaction. She had disliked Merlin for so long – but to see another sorcerer suffering Uther's wrath made her begin to feel for his plight.

"We need to scry him," she told Mordred. "We have to find out what's happened."

Mordred nodded, remaining silent as he often liked to do. However, he held out a hand and Morgana took it. The boy began to chant and suddenly they had left their bodies, flying above the castle until they approached the window to Uther's chambers. Through the chambers and through a false wall led them to a small hidden corridor, with one door into the side wall. They flew through and landed in the middle of the most pitiful sight either had seen.

The king had just finished putting on his clothes and walked out the door they had just flown through. Left in the room was the most bruised and battered boy that Morgana had seen. Every inch of the exposed flesh was either stained purple with bruises or crimson with blood. But this isn't what scared her – it was the face, the expression.

The face was listless, devoid of tears or any emotion whatsoever. It was a blank slate that sat, waiting for something that didn't seem near. Merlin didn't react to anything whatsoever, but remained staring at the wall to the left of the door, not doing anything else.

"My God…" Morgana whispered, putting a hand to her mouth. She felt like she was going to be sick.

"Uther has taken away his will," Mordred explained with a hint of anger in his small voice. "There's nothing left but an unthinking person, a slave without emotion."

"But…where did his emotions go?" Morgana cried, looking at the boy.

"The king has them," Mordred replied, pointing to the rusty iron collar that Merlin wore. "That is a magical vessel so Uther has complete control over everything he does. Including his magic."

That explained too much. As soon as Mordred brought them back to their bodies, Morgana had lit an anger for her father she had never felt as strongly as now.

"We need to get to Arthur," she said in a flat voice. "We have to get his help to rescue Merlin."

"The prince won't want to help us," Mordred reminded her.

"He will," Morgana replied with gritted teeth. "When it involves Merlin, he'll want to help."

* * *

><p>Arthur stared at his room moodily. He felt ill, but that might be because he hadn't eaten properly in weeks. His chambers were a mess and he was still stubbornly waiting for his manservant to clean everything up for him. He refused to have another servant help him out, which made things worse.<p>

The bed he sat on felt dirty because it hadn't been washed since…that morning, Arthur thought with a flash of anger. That was the one thing the prince had required Merlin to do before their expedition. He clenched his fists as he had often done lately, leaving marks over the red welts that his fingernails had created. If he were to keep this up, his hands would be bleeding in no time.

He was alone. His friend was gone, and Arthur had never realized what kind of hole that would leave with him. The manservant's playful banter, rebellious nature and infectious, ridiculous smile had kept the prince going more than he had ever known. Now he knew.

He stood up, planning to draw a bath for himself, but just then the objects in his room began to spin, and an unspeakable wind fired up within his chambers. Shocked, he did nothing but watched as two figures he never planned on seeing again came crashing into his room. His eyes widened at the expression that he recognized all-too-well on his sister's face: he had seen that face whenever something horrific had happened…back when she was good.

"Morgana?" he asked, not sure whether to lunge for his sword. Her expression was stopping him.

"I'm not here to fight, Arthur," she said in a clipped voice. The boy next to her nodded, his face impassive. Arthur recognized him as Mordred, the druid boy from a long time ago. He had escaped with Arthur's, Morgana's, and Merlin's help.

"What is it? I'm not in the mood to do anything just now," he said warily, eyes darting back to his sword again. She was a sorceress, he probably didn't stand much of a chance against her.

"Arthur, listen to me. I'm here about Merlin," Morgana said. Instantly he stopped thinking about attack and blinked, staring at her.

"Do you know where he is? Is he okay? Who took him?" The words flowed from Arthur's mouth faster than he could think, and his eyes widened with shock. "Where is he?" he repeated, this time more slowly.

Morgana closed her eyes, a brief anger flashing across her expression.

"Merlin has magic, Arthur," she said quietly. "He has magic."

Now the world came crashing around his shoulders – this had to be some kind of trick, there was no way that Merlin ever had magic, Arthur was sure – but the look in Morgana's eyes told him that she was telling the truth.

"Merlin…magic?" he asked weakly, sitting back down heavily on his bed. "How? Why?"

"That isn't important," Mordred cut in, his voice cutting. "What is important is where he is."

Morgana met his eyes again, and he knew, without a doubt, that something was wrong.

"Uther – our father – found out about Merlin's magic, and has him contained within his private dungeons in his chambers," she said harshly. "And…he's destroyed him."

"The king took away his free will and his magic," Mordred explains. "As of right now, he doesn't exist."

Arthur stared at them a very long time, trying to process what they were saying. All this time, he had assumed some bandits had captured his manservant, when he had been…with the prince's father? And no free will…

"Arthur, we need to stop Uther," Morgana said urgently. "Mordred and I received a mental cry for help from Merlin two weeks ago, and it took us this long to get here. We went and saw him…and he was just staring straight ahead. Merlin wasn't there. Not only that…Uther's been violating him. Constantly."

Arthur jumped up, grabbing his sword off the table.

"Swear you're telling me the truth," he said viciously, not believing them. "Father would never do that!"

"We speak the truth," Mordred said earnestly, leaning forward. "The king is convening with the council right now, we could sneak in and prove it to you."

Arthur thought for barely a moment, before his head bobbed up and down.

"Let's go," he said harshly, leading the way out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**I found this chapter very difficult to write, because it's hard not to express the emotions of an emotionless person. You'll catch my drift when you start reading.**

**Title: Emotionless**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Sexual abuse, violence, rape, m/m in a violent setting, suicidal thoughts**

**Summary: Uther knows, and Merlin pays. So leaves the beaming servant of Camelot for an emotionless slave.**

The whore stared straight ahead, waiting. There was no point to thinking, feeling, doing anything besides sitting and waiting. The door in front of him didn't matter, the walls surrounding him didn't matter, and the fact that he was cold – what did 'cold' mean, exactly, he couldn't think about it – didn't matter, either.

Just waiting.

Until the time that new people burst through the door, none of which he recognized. He couldn't think of how many there were, what they were, or what their expressions were reading. He just stared at them. Waiting.

"Oh…my God," a person spoke, kneeling in front of him. The whore just continued staring, no comprehension that he understood visible on his face. "Merlin? Merlin, can you hear me?"

"He won't respond," another voice spoke from behind the person. "He has lost his will to think."

"My God," the person repeated, and the whore blinked. This made no sense to him and he couldn't begin to comprehend it. "We have to get him out of here!"

"I can cast a spell of invisibility so we can take him out of here without anybody seeing," another person spoke. There was a pause, and the whore continued waiting.

"Let's do it."

Then the whore was being moved and made no show to respond. It was just going to happen again, and he continued to wait. He was picked up and cradled against a chest. Then something happened, some sort of feeling he had long forgotten, but still he didn't move on his own. He had not been commanded to.

He was moved for a long time, but time wasn't something the whore comprehended. Just waiting, not for a certain amount of time. Nothing made sense to him, but he didn't try to make sense of anything. After a time of waiting, he was placed down on something soft and uncomfortable. But this didn't matter to the whore.

"Now what?"

"We have to get that metal collar off," one person said determinedly.

"No, we can't do that yet! We need to reverse Uther's control over him first, or if we take off the collar, this…will be permanent."

"Uther will try to call him. Will command him to come to him."

"We need to lock him up so he can't go back."

The whore just listened to this mess of words. It made no sense. Then he was being moved again, to a place that resembled the place where he once was.

"It seems so cruel to just leave him in here."

"It's the only place with a lock."

"But it looks just like his other prison!"

"Morgana, stop. We don't have a choice. Last I checked, you weren't too keen on Merlin, anyway."

There was a huff, and footsteps out.

A hand touched the whore's cheek, bringing warmth to his face. He didn't understand.

"We're going to get you back, Merlin," the person promised. "I'm going to kill Father for this. I'll bring back your free will."

Then the person left, and the whore resumed his waiting in what looked like the same place.


	7. Chapter 7

**Yay, Merlin's been rescued! But…he is still not there. He isn't Merlin, not yet. Arthur will try to restore him to the way he was…**

**Title: Emotionless**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Sexual abuse, violence, rape, m/m in a violent setting, suicidal thoughts**

**Summary: Uther knows, and Merlin pays. So leaves the beaming servant of Camelot for an emotionless slave.**

Arthur was dining with his father. He had been very careful to make it look like he had just come from training with the knights, which was why he had his swordbelt attached to his side. Before the guards had closed the door behind him, he had quietly told them that nobody was allowed inside on punishment of death. Bewildered and shocked, the guards had quickly nodded and closed the door.

And here he was with his best friend's torturer, a man that Arthur had thought he knew. The king was silent, not looking too hard for a conversation. In fact, Uther would glance towards the direction of his chambers once or twice, and Arthur saw the expression hidden behind his neutral face twist each time. Uther wanted to get back to Merlin. He wanted to get back to fucking Merlin, raping him, destroying him.

It made Arthur want to murder him right then and there.

"How was your day, father?" he asked instead, more conversational than he felt like being. Uther looked back at his son, surprised.

"I find I've come down with a bug recently, sorry if I'm not that conversational tonight," he apologized smoothly. "In fact, I was thinking about retiring to my chambers for the night."

He raised a hand to signal a servant, and it was then that Arthur saw the new addition to the king's arm – a thick chain that was stained crimson. It was then that Arthur knew this was it, this was the device controlling Merlin.

Seeing the chain built up anger inside of him, and Arthur waved the servant away. Uther looked back at him, surprised.

"Father, I need to discuss an important matter with you, in private," he said, seething just below the surface. Uther nodded, dismissing the servants in the room. When they were alone, the king gestured for him to continue.

"Do you enjoy torture, Father?" Arthur's eyes flashed as they met up with his father's. Uther blinked.

"Arthur, nobody enjoys the torture they must inflict in order to stop something-" the King began, but Arthur cut him off.

"Nobody enjoys, Father? Not even when the torture involves constant rape?" He glared daggers.

"Arthur, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about _you_, Father!" Arthur suddenly shouted, standing up and drawing his sword. "I know what you did. I know about Merlin."

"Who's Merlin?" Uther asked, his own hazel eyes flashing. Arthur almost completely lost his temper, and he saw red.

"I found him in your chambers, _Uther_," he sneered. "Don't try to deny it. He was barely recognizable, and he couldn't even think for himself. He just sat there, staring at the door. _What did you do to him?_"

He lunged around the table, pointing the sword at his defenseless father. Uther held up his hands, looking cautious.

"I had a sorcerer in my personal dungeons, merely because I thought he would be more dangerous in public, where people could set him free," his father stated simply. "When he didn't comply with my questions, I had to resort to torture. I don't regret torturing a sorcerer."

"Shut up!" Arthur yelled, driving the point next to his father's neck, at a place where he knew his father would die with one swipe. "You will remove your force against Merlin's mind, now."

"Arthur, he is an extremely dangerous servant!" Uther protested, eyeing the sword quickly. "He must have enchanted you!"

There was nothing left to do. Arthur quickly took his sword and swung the base against Uther's head. The king was knocked unconscious instantly, and the prince quickly scrambled to put his sword away before he attempted to rip off the chain. It was stubborn, however, and he fought with it for several minutes before taking a break. Then carefully, Arthur took his sword back out and managed to pry the chain apart enough to get it off Uther's wrist.

He didn't want to seem suspicious as he left the council chambers, so he squeezed his own hand inside the chain and hid it under his jacket. It was time he made things right.

* * *

><p>Arthur, Mordred and Morgana were all back in the room, the door locked behind them just in case Uther woke up and alerted the guards before it was too late. They were all looking between the chain on Arthur's wrist and Merlin, who was still remaining the same.<p>

"Okay…what do I do?" Arthur asked, turning to Morgana and Mordred for some sort of answer. Both shrugged. Arthur, equally clueless, wondered if just wearing the chain meant that he could help Merlin. Therefore, he stepped forward and knelt in front of the boy.

"What's your name?" he asked cautiously. Merlin didn't show comprehension, but, to Arthur's delight, he mouthed a word quickly. Not catching it, Arthur asked the question again. This time he watched Merlin's lips, and the word they formed had him standing up quickly, falling back to Morgana and Mordred's side.

"What is it?" Morgana asked. "What did he say?"

Arthur stared in horror at Merlin, who still stared without seeing.

"_Whore_," he whispered.

Morgana visibly flinched. Mordred didn't react, as was his nature. Arthur stared at his friend, not believing that his father had broken down Merlin to somebody who only knew his name as such a disgusting word. He darted back forward, kneeling in front of his friend.

"No, your name is _Merlin_," he emphasized. "What is your name?"

This time the blank expression changed ever so slightly, and another word was formed.

"That's it, Merlin, good job!" Arthur whispered to his friend. Merlin had relearnt his name, but still was a long way from coming back.

"Try commanding him to have free will again," Mordred suggested behind him. Arthur didn't hesitate, this was one he wanted more than anything.

"Merlin…come back to us," he commanded softly. "I give you free will."

Merlin stared straight ahead for another moment, but then suddenly something shifted in his dead eyes and he gasped, falling to his side and curling up in a ball. His eyes were wide as they stared at Arthur, uncomprehending. Arthur held out an arm, trying to comfort him, but Merlin shrank away from the touch. He didn't speak, didn't try to make a sound, but his wide eyes said everything – something was still wrong.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked gently, trying again to reach out. There was a flicker of recognition at the name, but none at Arthur's voice, which almost broke Arthur's heart. "Merlin, it's me. Arthur."

Still Merlin said nothing, but just moved against the wall, curling himself, if possible, into a tighter ball. He shut his eyes and his lips started moving, as if he were speaking without words. Arthur was at a loss at what to say.

"Arthur, we need to get him some clothes," Morgana pointed out behind him. The prince stood, still visibly shaken, and backed away. Merlin didn't look up from his wordless muttering, but flinched as the iron slammed shut again behind him.

Arthur hurried back to his chambers, rifling through his things. From what he could tell of the bloody manservant, Merlin had lost a lot of weight and Arthur doubted that he had had much, if any, food in the past two weeks.

All he could do was set out some comfortable clothes, before turning back to the others.

"We need to get him to bathe first," he announced. Morgana nodded, but Mordred frowned.

"How?" he asked simply. "He won't let us near him."

Arthur set his jaw.

"We've got to do it somehow," he said. "We've got to get him to trust us."

"You could…compel him," Morgana suggested quietly. "Command him to trust us."

"No!" Arthur snarled, turning on her. "I won't take any more freedom away from him, that's why he's scared in the first place!"

She held up her hands in surrender, not saying another word. The prince sighed exasperatedly.

"Can you two prepare the bath?" He asked. "I'm going back in."

Morgana and Mordred nodded. Arthur took his keys off the key loop and gave them to his sister.

"Lock the door, in case Father comes," he warned.

"Don't worry, I will," Morgana answered in a serious tone. They both paused for a moment.

"I missed you being like this," he said quietly, ducking his head. "Standing up for what is right, versus finding evil in everything in Camelot."

He left the room to return to Merlin's side.


	8. Chapter 8

**This is the longest chapter, and the end of part 1 of this story. I dunno whether I'm going to continue on this path (in this story) or start a completely new section for part 2. Let me know what you think in the end!**

**Title: Emotionless**

**Rating: M**

**Warnings: Sexual abuse, violence, rape, m/m in a violent setting, suicidal thoughts**

**Summary: Uther knows, and Merlin pays. So leaves the beaming servant of Camelot for an emotionless slave.**

His name was Merlin. He was Merlin, a boy sitting in a dungeon covered in blood and completely afraid. He couldn't remember, he couldn't figure out why everything hurt, or why his body was red and blue. He didn't know why he was naked, and he didn't know the person that returned to his cell again a few minutes later.

"Merlin, come on," the man encouraged with a small smile, "you can remember. I'm Arthur, or as you like to call me, dollop head. Prince Prat. Come on!"

But Merlin didn't make sense of what 'Arthur' was saying, and he hid his face. He just wanted the pain to stop. He wanted to be clean. He wanted to be safe and warm.

"Merlin, we want to clean you up," Arthur said gently from in front of him. "We want to give you clothes so you can be covered up and warm."

It all sounded so good, but Merlin didn't trust this unknown man. He shivered slightly, feeling the cold of the dungeon he was in. He wanted to speak, but knew that he didn't have a voice. He wanted to cry, but he knew he didn't have any tears to shed. He only knew one thing:

He was worthless, he was nothing. He was only needed for magic and for body, never anything more. But it _hurt_, and he wanted to be clean and warm…

It had to be too good to be true.

He opened his eyes, lifting his head up slightly and attempting to speak – but no sound came out. Frustrated, he pounded his fists against the floor, not being able to describe his emotions.

"Merlin?"

He looked up at the man, whose eyes held nothing but concern and hope as they stared into him. Then he made a decision.

Like a small child Merlin lifted an arm up, wanting Arthur to help him stand. Arthur got the intention, and slowly helped the boy to his feet.

"Thank you, Merlin," he said with relief, gingerly trying to not touch too much of Merlin's bloody, bruised skin. For this, Merlin was thankful. Again, he opened his mouth and tried to speak but he couldn't. He looked away, ashamed. He wanted to ask when the pain would be back, and why Arthur wasn't treating him like the worthless whore that he was.

They walked out of the dungeon into a room that looked too nice to be true. Standing there were the other two people that were with Arthur when he had first become aware. Between them was…heaven. He stared at the steaming water with wide eyes, wanting to be in the water and feeling the warmth of the steam surrounding him. He looked to Arthur for permission, feeling it was too good to be true, but Arthur nudged him carefully to the water. Merlin approached the basin and was helped in by the woman. He sat down in the water, almost audibly groaning when he sat down. It felt so good…and he suddenly became very aware that he was so grimy it disgusted him. Merlin began to use his hands to scrub at the cracked blood attached to his skin, but then Arthur stopped him and showed him the sponge, using it to remove the blood and reveal raw, purple skin. Merlin looked in wonder, then took the sponge and scrubbed the rest of the grime off himself.

It took a couple minutes, but pretty soon Merlin was completely clean. He beamed at everybody else, feeling rejuvenated.

"Do you feel better, Merlin?" Arthur asked. Merlin nodded, smiling for the first time that he could remember. It felt nice and comfortable on his face.

But now everybody was frowning at him, and he stopped smiling. Was something wrong?

"Merlin, can you speak?" the woman asked him gently. He shook his head. The woman looked towards Arthur, who glanced at something that sat against his wrist. Merlin saw what it was, and instantly he had a violent flash back to a scene he couldn't remember before. He saw that chain, covered in fresh blood, _his _blood, and he flinched so hard that he splashed bath water everywhere. He struggled to get away from the object, knowing that it was bad, but people were holding him down.

"Merlin, sit down!" Arthur cried out, and suddenly the fight left Merlin. He sat down as ordered, and stared up at the chain, unable to do anything else but sit in the bathtub and be frightened.

At first everybody was surprised, but then, one by one, they realized what had happened. Arthur looked down at the chain, horrified.

"I hate this thing," he growled, trying to take it off violently. The little boy stopped him, however, looking back at Merlin.

"You need to allow him to speak first, and who knows what else the king made him do," he reminded gently. Slowly Arthur stopped trying to pry the chain from his wrist. He knelt down in front of the bathtub, in front of the terrified Merlin, and stared into his eyes.

"You can speak," he said softly, and Merlin suddenly discovered he had a voice.

"I-I…p-please, don't, I don't want to, don't want to," he muttered to himself, the same words he had been trying to say earlier. They had stuck with him the most, and seemed the most natural to say now. Arthur stayed in front of him.

"Merlin, can you remember yet?" he asked. Merlin shook his head violently, putting hands up above his face.

"Please," he begged again, trying to get away from that chain. The weight of the order Arthur had given bore down on him, however, keeping him in the slowly-cooling bathtub.

"Oh," Arthur said, as if remembering. "Merlin, you are free to move wherever you want."

Merlin felt the order lift his previous order, and Merlin slowly looked up. He met Arthur's eyes.

"Pain?" Merlin whispered. The other's eyes blinked with confusion, shaking his head to show that he didn't understand. Merlin slowly stood up from the bathtub, his eyes not leaving the chain that was fastened around the other's wrist. Merlin knew what to do next, only because of memories he couldn't remember. He walked out of the bathtub, padding around naked to a bare stretch of wall. Then he turned around and hugged it. Another flash of memory reminded him that this was how his master liked him most.

"Pain," he whispered to himself, reminded now of how it felt to be broken in two, feeling himself ripped from the inside out. His master had always been mean and taken it without asking, but this man was nice and had given him a bath. He was allowing the pain this time. It made sense to him.

He waited for a few moments, before a hand softly touched his shoulder. He flinched, but didn't move.

"Merlin, there won't be any pain," Arthur said softly from behind him. "I would never do that to you."

Merlin was surprised, his eyes wide as he turned to look at the man.

"No…pain?" he asked uncertainly. Was this a trick? Arthur nodded.

"That will never happen again," he promised vehemently. Merlin blinked. This was not an order, but it settled uncertainly in his stomach as a sort of cushion to help him with the pain he remembered he had.

"Come on, Merlin, let's get you dressed," Arthur said carefully, offering a hand to him. Merlin looked at it, and nodded, taking it. Together they went over to the bed, and after a few more minutes Merlin was dressed in warm clothes and laying in Arthur's bed underneath more blankets than he could count. Only his face stuck out, and he stared at the three people that had helped him. He wanted to thank them, but couldn't put his lips around the words.

"Before you sleep, Merlin, we need you to tell us some other things," Arthur said softly. Merlin nodded; anything for them, because they were the nicest people he could remember meeting.

"What can you remember…about before?" Arthur asked tentatively. "Before the pain, I mean."

Merlin frowned into the air, trying to force his unwilling mind to think back before the pain. But for all he could remember, there was only pain and orders and waiting.

He shrugged his answer, because he didn't know the right word to pronounce. Arthur looked at the other two before leaning forward and hovering his face right above Merlin's.

"Merlin, close your eyes," he commanded softly. Merlin did as he said, listening. "Remember…before the pain. Remember your life."

The rush of memories that came back frightened him, clouding his judgment and his mind while he watched every second of the life of the other Merlin, the one Arthur knew, flash by his eyes in a few instants. He wriggled, trying to escape the wrath of the memories, but Arthur had pinned him down and was waiting.

It was only a minute later but when Merlin reached the memories that brought him to where he was now, he gasped, trying to block out the pain of constant abuse and pain that he was shocked that he had endured. Then something funny happened with his memories, they began to muddle, but then strengthened again when he regained his free will an hour before.

Slamming back into the present, Merlin breathed heavily, remembering everything now.

"Can I open my eyes?" he asked tentatively, now remembering the proper forms of speech. The hands left his pained arms, almost shockingly.

"Merlin? Is that you?" Arthur asked, relieved. "Oh, and open your eyes."

Merlin opened his eyes, staring at Arthur again.

"I remember," he told the prince with serious eyes. "I remember…everything." He looked at that chain around Arthur's wrist again, and shuddered violently. "He…master…oh," he said, clutching his head. He began to recite what he had been ordered to believe. "I am just a worthless sorcerer who shouldn't even have the powers I was born with. I am to be called whore, and he is the master." He clutched his head, the orders screaming at him. There were other things, too, and he wanted to cry from the pain, but found he couldn't.

"I can't cry…Arthur, I can't cry!" he cried out, rocking back and forth. "I want to cry, please let me cry…"

"Merlin, you are allowed to cry," Arthur choked out. Then Merlin felt the tears he needed to shed fill his eyes, pouring down his cheeks and racking his frame with sobs.

"I am…worthless…" he spat in between sobs, feeling the extent of the order against him. He was worthless, but there was nothing he could do to prevent this.

"Arthur, would you help him out?" Morgana cried. "He needs to be ordered to stop thinking he's worthless, this is obviously something Uther did!"

"Merlin, can you hear me?" Arthur called out, taking Merlin by the shoulders. "You are not worthless. You are not a whore. Uther is not your master. Do you hear me?"

The orders gently lifted off his shoulders, but Merlin found he couldn't stop crying. He nodded that he understood Arthur, that the order had worked, but he continued to sob anyway. So much pain, he had endured too much for his brain to handle tonight.

"Merlin, we're all going to stay with you tonight," Arthur said softly, carefully putting an arm around the servant's shoulders. "Right, Morgana?"

"Of course," Morgana answered instantly, and it hit Merlin through his tears that this was odd – Morgana and Mordred had answered his call! He opened his eyes and through his tears stared at Morgana.

"You heard me," he gasped out, trying to catch his breath. Morgana nodded, a smile hinting at the edges of her lips.

"You never understand the meaning of mortal enemies, so I guess Mordred and I felt your plight," she replied. "Besides, Uther needs to be stopped. This has gone on long enough."

Merlin flinched terribly at the mention of the king and his abuser, and Arthur helped him lay down again. Morgana moved to his other side and sat on the edge of the bed, taking one of his hands in one of her own. Mordred climbed on the end of the bed, sitting cross-legged and staring at Merlin with his unfathomable expression. It was Arthur who was brave enough to lay next to him, offering the warm presence against Merlin's cold skin. It was welcoming, and Merlin felt a bit better just by having his friends with him.

"No more pain?" he whispered to Arthur again as they all drifted off to sleep.

"No, Merlin," Arthur answered in a gruff voice that sounded like he himself was trying not to cry, and failing. "No more pain for you."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N Hey everybody, this is the sort-of epilogue for part one of this story. There will be a second part up most likely this weekend or next week at some point, and it will be called Selfless. Thanks for reading, and I can't wait to share the next part with you!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Merlin, then Morgana would be good, Gwen would be BA and Arthur wouldn't have many head injuries. Unfortunately, none of those are true.**

**Epilogue**

Arthur woke up the next morning with a groan, feeling stiff from an entire night of sleeping on top of his bunched up sheets and in his clothes. Trying to stop the morning sunlight from filtering into his eyes, he put a hand above his closed eyelids and groaned again.

"Five more minutes," he mumbled to Merlin, ready to fall asleep again.

Then it hit him.

Arthur blinked his eyes open instantly, turning his face to see the pale, bruised face of his manservant and friend next to him, sleeping fitfully. Under his eyes were large dark circles, and his cheeks were deathly white. He was mumbling softly, and looked as if he were having a nightmare. Arthur, trying not to wake up his friend, sat up slowly and climbed out of the bed.

Then he remembered who else was here. Shocked, his eyes darted towards the other side of the bed, where Morgana rested peacefully, laying on Merlin's other side. There was no sign of the boy Mordred.

Arthur walked over to his door, satisfied that it was still locked to keep out his father, and he proceeded to his wardrobe and screen to quickly change. When he was done Arthur decided that now was a better time than never.

He gently shook Morgana's shoulder, which caused her to open her eyes slowly and glance at him. Slowly she remembered, too, and she turned her head almost exactly as he had to look at Merlin.

"How is he?" she asked softly. Arthur shook his head.

"We need to get him to Gaius, but I'm afraid to take him out of here," he answered. "Who knows what father will do?"

There was the sound of footsteps behind him, and Arthur whirled around to see Mordred with a tray overflowing with food from the kitchens.

"How did you get out without being recognized?" Arthur asked, shocked. Mordred shrugged.

"I told them you were hungry," he responded while setting the tray down. "There is no word of Emrys's return in the castle. Nobody seems to know anything."

"Emrys?" Arthur asked, confused. Mordred looked behind him at Morgana.

"Just a name Mordred gave him," Morgana answered quickly. Arthur let it slide but filed away the name for future research.

They all turned back to Merlin, whose face was in anguish as he dreamed.

"We should wake him," Mordred said quietly. Arthur nodded, and Morgana placed a hand on the servant's arm.

"Merlin?" she asked gently, and instantly Merlin's eyes shot open – the color of molten gold – and he sat up, scrambling away from them. There was a loud clattering behind them as a wind erupted from seemingly nowhere and some of the food from the tray fell to the floor. Arthur, alarmed, took a step forward. Then Merlin saw who he was with, and he visibly relaxed. The wind stopped, and his eyes returned to their normal blue.

Merlin then realized that he just did magic, and his eyes grew wide again. He stared at Arthur, who stared back.

"It's okay, Merlin, Arthur knows," Morgana said from the other side of the bed. Merlin glanced to her quickly before looking back at Arthur.

"You…know?" he asked uncertainly, voice barely a whisper. Arthur nodded slowly.

"I…don't know what to think about it yet," he admitted. "But what's more important is keeping you safe from my father"

At the mention of the king Merlin visibly flinched. Arthur walked over to the bed and sat next to him.

"It's okay, Merlin, I won't let him harm you anymore," Arthur promised with a serious face. "He can't hurt you anymore."

Merlin, eyes watering, nodded but no smile reached his lips. Inside, Arthur wondered if he'd ever be the same Merlin again.

Because the prince didn't know if he could handle this new man, this man who had been so…emotionless.


End file.
